I'm not interested in being definitive. I'm not interested in attaining anything remotely close to perfection. But I am interested in peeling back all the layers to get to the core of my work. I believe I knew what the core was back in 2006. However, many evolutions since then, I can't put my finger on it. I just follow this instinct. I know what I need and then I make it. I am always surprised as to what comes out. I constantly thwart any concrete references to anything understandable and distilled.
I wonder if that core instinct is instinct itself? How I and many others navigate our daily lives is far removed from any kind of natural existence. It is built upon many givens that can be taken away if one block is pulled out of place. My life right now is not about immersion or slowly becoming aware. It's about hustling- in more than one meaning. At every moment in the back of my mind I think about taking life at a pace I dictate. That sparkling possibility looms in front of me starting in September and I wonder if I will be able to accept this. I had a conversation with a 1st year when I visited U of C about just that. It is so easy to stack duties in front of you that add up to instant gratification but thwart ultimate goals. What will I do with myself when the opportunity to focus is in front of me? Will I be prepared to accept that? How does one go about reversing their habits of survival of go, go, go and being acclimating to their own true inner pace?
